The Weekly Spill #9
monsters, megachurches, magazine covers, manicures, and pursuit of mature matrimony
Chug your pumpkin spice and throw on your witch hat, it’s Friday the 13th! I’ve got some spooky-ooky things on the brain. Monsters, megachurches, beauty trends, one of the Witches of Eastwick….my mind is a scary place. In a fun way though, like how Spirit Halloween adds some Halloweeny flair to the abandoned Barney’s. Chic! Here are all the things in my spooky-chic brain this week:
The Righteous Gemstones: Much like the evangelists the show is about, I can’t stop spreading the good word about The Righteous Gemstones. After hearing the gemstone gospel (shoutout to Riley), I quickly binged the first 2 seasons. I can’t believe that this show doesn’t get more buzz. The satire of a famous megachurch family is so accurate, and the drama hooked me immediately. I am in the middle of the third season right now, and I am forcing myself to slow down because I don’t want it to end. I wish that HBO would do one of those Disney Channel-style crossovers and have the Gemstones visit The White Lotus.
Christian Haunted Houses: This is my weekly hyperfixation topic. These were definitely a thing growing up, and I’ve always thought they were really weird. I hate all haunted houses so I did not participate, but they were pretty popular. If you grew up outside the Bible Belt, you can watch this video or listen to this podcast episode (or this one) to learn about them. I bring this up because I want a Righteous Gemstones episode where they have one of these.
“Monsters: A Fan’s Dilemma” by Claire Dederer: I am about 75% done with this book, and it is shaping up to be one of my favorite nonfiction reads of the year. It grapples with the issue of what to do when we love art made by terrible people. Dederer is so great at speaking to the nuances in these complex situations that we find ourselves with so often. Is it okay to listen to Michael Jackson’s music? Are you a bad person if you say like Picasso or Hemmingway? Does it make a difference if the artist is dead? Can you really ever separate the art from the artist?
The book doesn’t feel preachy, there is an understanding that there isn’t a simple formula for how to feel about these artists and their art. She’s not offering the answer to this problem, rather she is posing questions to the reader and sharing her own complex feelings. This book is so smart and thought-provoking, and as someone with quite a few problematic favs, I highly recommend it.
Sofia Coppola’s Pajamas: W magazine asked Sofia Coppola (their current cover star) to list her 20 favorite things. I love any content like this, (I am a very loyal Perfectly Imperfect reader) and Coppola didn’t disappoint. Featured on her list are her favorite pajamas: a classic button-up pajama set in linen. They are by Loro Piana and priced at a cool $1,160. This has been eating at my brain. I can’t stop thinking about thousand-dollar pajamas. I am intrigued by the notebook that she put on this list because I have a stationary purchasing problem. I am also amused by the numerous Chanel items that she chose (she is an ambassador), particularly the Chanel Pickleball racquet.
The Golden Bachelor: I’ve only watched the first episode, (because my TV time has been spent on TRG, see above) but I think this concept can save The Bachelor. It is a breath of fresh air to watch authentic people on reality television. I haven’t watched The Bachelor in years, it had gotten so boring with everyone pretty transparently participating only to try and parlay their time on the show into influencer fame. These women feel so genuine in contrast, and it makes the show interesting again. I do find the bachelor format to get tiresome after a while, so we will see if the cast can overcome that.
I’ll admit that while I find The Golden Bachelor fun, I don’t think I would be interested in watching The Golden Bachelorette. There is a fun sisterhood quality to the 30 women, but I have no interest in watching 30 old men compete for love. You could call it a bias, but we all know that they aren’t good TV. If you don’t believe me, show me the Real Househusbands franchise.
Bachelor contestant fun facts: While on the topic, I’ve got to mention the Bachelor contestant fun facts. If you are unaware, for each contestant’s bio they give 3 fun facts about themselves. They always read like aliens trying to convince the public that they are human. I am obsessed with them. Mike’s Mic did a video for his podcast where he goes through the facts from a past Bachelorette season, and that video is required viewing. The ladies of The Golden Bachelor got to do the fun facts too, and they were ranked by Slate from least to most fun. Maybe steal some of these for your Hinge profile.
Haus Labs concealer: I understand that people want pop stars to stop making cosmetics and get back to making music, but we’ve got to give Gaga a pass because the products are so good. I’ve been wearing the Haus Labs foundation for a year now, and I love it. I kept wishing that there was a concealer and mother delivered. I’ve been using it for a couple of weeks and I have no notes. She really can do it all.
Divas on the newsstand: Cher and Barbra are both magazine cover stars at the moment and we love to see it.
Kylie’s red manicure: I fear we are re-entering the red nail theory discourse, but this year it has combined with the insanity of TikTok's proclivity for nomenclature. I’m talking blueberry milk nails. Kylie Jenner posted that she got a red manicure, and now there are think pieces about the meaning of the “Cherry Smoke” nail trend.
As a gatekeep-y bitch who has had red nails for almost 4 years straight, I hate it. I would like to let the public know that I am not participating in “cherry smoke” nails, I do not believe in the red nail theory, and my nails are not inspired by Kylie Jenner.
Spooky Ooky Alyssa: Yes, I am unafraid to reference. Thank you for noticing.
That’s all. I suggest all of you put on your most expensive pajamas and paint your nails red immediately. Keep it spooky diva, and stay tuned for more beans next week.